Do you have a marriage staff meeting? Here is why you should and how you can.

One thing my wife and discuss in marriage seminar is the importance and impact of "the marriage staff meeting."

For example, what if our church staff never connected to meet? Even just to discuss the calendar?

The result would be predictable: confusion, isolation, tension, and frustration.

It is any wonder that our marriages experience the same problems?

What if you and your spouse took one hour a week, maybe Sunday afternoon, to connect with your calendar and sync up your plans for the week?

What if you could reserve this time for deciding which home projects to get done that week and how to spread them out so that you are not discussing cleaning the garage in bed with the lights out at 11 pm? What if you could talk about that stuff at the weekly marriage staff meeting?

What could happen if that meeting took place?

1. Greater unity as you plan the calendar together. No more surprises about evening meetings that will keep you out late again. You are able to look at the week and make sure you plan time for each other and the kids. You even can schedule your date night so that it actually happens!

2. You each feel heard about things that need to get done around the house... and make a plan that is doable. But with margin time for life built in on the calendar -- and time to do home projects -- all of life is not just fixing things or feeling behind. 

3. Date night would no longer have to double as the staff meeting. If you don't have a stated "staff meeting," everything you would have discussed then becomes the topic for date night or over dinner or whenever you are together. Date night and free time no longer has to be business but can be relationship. With a separate "staff meeting," you can just be together without date night becoming your staff meeting. 😉 

What does a marriage staff meeting look like?

It is Planned and Predictable

​It is on the calendar for a specific time and takes place in a comfortable spot in your home or at a coffee shop.

Open with Prayer

Seriously. This is an important moment of connecting and planning. You want the Spirit to lead your home, right? Why not ask him to lead this all-important time together?

Discuss "Old Business"

​Reflect on the past week. What went well? Where were there problems? How could things have been better? What projects got done and which ones are still "open" on the books?

Discuss Finances 

​If you do this every week, it reduces the stress of wondering how you are doing. Talk about where the account is. This is not a moment to blame but to evaluate and make course corrections.

Discuss "New Business"

This is the upcoming calendar, home projects, car maintenance, the kids plans, etc. What is coming up and how can we get on the same page to prepare? Here expectations are made clear and the team is ready to put all hands in and "break!"

Include the Kids 

​If you have kids, you may want to bring them into the meeting to participate. If you want, have a marriage meeting first, then open it up to a full family meeting.

Consider Sermon Review, Devotion, and Prayer

This could be a cool time to review that Sunday's morning sermon or have someone in the family lead a devotion or have one of the kids pray to close the meeting. Or the dad can pray. Or mom.


​I suggest doing something fun together after the meeting. Play corn hole. Go for a walk. Watch some funny YouTube videos. Whatever your family enjoys.

Celebrate another week of grace.

There is more we could say about this and I'd love to hear any ideas or suggestions you have. Feel free to comment below.

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